*ring*
Me: "Hello?"
Hogan: "Hey, how's your day going?"
M: "not bad..."
H: "So ok...my ear's really infected and kinda turning black!"
M: "WHAT??"
H: "yeah, black"
M: "Yeah, it'll do that..."
H: "NO! I'M TALKING BLACK! or some kind of off purple, and by off I mean off the spectrum because it's so purple it's black!!!! I was expecting a little bruising or some dried blood, but this is too much!!!"
M: "well uh...just leave it for like 2 days or something."
H: "LEAVE IT?? I'LL HAVE TO LOP OFF PART OF MY EAR!! I'll walking down the street and people will be like "HEY VAN GOGH!" and i'll be like "SHUT UP" and they'll be like "FUCK YOU!" and i'll be like "NO FUCK YOU!!" is that what you want to happen???"
M: "ok this isn't my fault!!"
H: "YES IT IS!! YOU USED A FRIGGING CHOP STICK!!"
M: "ok, i'll fix it, because i don't want you to beat me."
H: "oh i'll do that anyways."
M: "Ok look, i'll bet it's perfectly normal"
H: "yeah except it's spreading to the nether parts of my ear!! IT'S SPREADING ADDY!!!"
M: "geez calm down!! are you working tomorrow? cause i can go down and look at it!"
H: "oh yeah, dr addy will come and everything will be FINE!!!"
M: alright alright, just clean it and leave it!"
H: "clean it and leave it?"
M: "yes"
H: "That's not possible, doesn't the cleaning kind of void the leaving part?"
M: "OK FINE!! JUST CLEAN IT"
H: "yes..."
M: "so just turn it and move it a bit, but don't take it out."
H: "yeah that's what she said...."
M: "OK??? DO YOU WANT YOUR EAR TO FALL OFF??"
H: "actually i'm totally joking, my ear's fine, see you friday miss gullible"
*Hogan hangs up*


- posted by Eddie @ 9:40 PM