This thing is dead..

I'll probably start a new one sometime.

R.I.P Addy's sweet blog.

~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 3:52 PM

 
I don't care what anyone says...

It is ALWAYS worse to break someone's heart, than it is to be heartbroken.

I fucking hate myself at times like this.

Don't Speak
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 2:31 AM

 
Well....

It's been nearly a year since I posted on here. I apologize, really I do...it sucks that my first one up will be a depressing, nosensical one.

Basically, alot has changed, especially over the past few months.

I'm in so much denial right now.

I'm lying to myself and everyone around me, so much so that I'm beginning to believe my own lies.

There's so much I miss.

Sorry again, hopefully the next few ones will be better.

I'll listen for the whisper
Of your sweet insanity
While I formulate denials
Of your effect on me
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 3:11 PM

 

'What" will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Yes! I love the Muppets!

Apparently they love (or loved) me too.
- posted by Eddie @ 6:35 PM

 
Sometimes I wonder...

Is there any way my life could ever be different? I mean really, I'm having a hard time believing that 20 years down the road, I won't still have the same contempt for my family and upbringing that I do now. Even if I'm living far away in a beautiful house with a wonderful husband and amazing kids....I feel like I'll still hate christmas and birthdays when I have to spend time with my family.

It's a rather depressing thought.

I wonder if my life could have been different...like if something could have changed the person I am now. If my mom had left my dad all those times, would I be a better person? Would I still feel insignificant and neglected the way I do now? It's something I'll never know, but it bothers me to no end.

If I had never known about my dad's alcoholism, and it never clicked in my head why my childhood was the way it was....would I still be so bitter and hating towards nearly every person I meet? I feel like I judge people so quickly, and can't even allow them to get close to me, because they'll hurt me in the end like my dad did.

I wonder if I'll ever stop feeling abandonned by my mom.

I guess with me being done high school, lots of questions have been racing through my mind. It's pretty much like the rest of my life started today, it's actually pretty scary.

However, now that I'm not busy with school as I have been for the past 2 months, there will be more updating for you loyal people out there who love my ramblings.

Oh oh oh! And one more thing, I'm starting up my ebay store this summer most likely. My DIY clothing is basically the best ever, and you should all buy it, and I'll try my hardest to do custom orders! Eeeeee!

Wow, this blog went from really deep to just blatent self-advertising.

I guess it's because Chad's talking to me, and he always puts me in a good mood. Je l'aime. But I should get back to sewing and stuff. Lata.

Megalomaniac
~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 5:44 PM

 
Let's hear it for not updating!

Let's hear it for doing awesome in school!

Let's hear it for having an actual good job!

Let's hear it for still fucking things up with your boyfriend no matter how good things are going!

Let's hear it for song lyrics because I'm too upset to make anything up on my own!

so impressed with all you do
tried so hard to be like you
flew too high and burnt the wing
lost my faith in everything

lick around divine debris
taste the wealth of hate in me
shedding skin succumb defeat
this machine is obsolete

made the choice to go away
drink the fountain of decay
tear a hole exquisite red
fuck the rest and stab it dead

broken bruised forgotten sore
too fucked up to care anymore
poisoned to my rotten core
too fucked up to care anymore

in the back off the side far away is a place where I hide where I stay
tried to say
tried to ask I needed to
all alone by myself where were you?
how could I ever think it's funny how everything that swore it wouldn't change
is different now
just like you would always say we'll make it through
then my head fell apart
and where were you?
how could I ever think it's funny how everything you swore would never change
is different now
like you said
you and me make it through
didn't quite
fell apart
where the fuck were you?
- posted by Eddie @ 8:46 PM

 
I felt the need to turn off my comments because people are such cunts.

It's not so much the actual negative comments that bother me. It's the fact that people don't have the balls to own up to what they say by putting their names down.

Fucking idiots.

Well, that's it.

~Addy
- posted by Eddie @ 10:45 PM